Seeing, therefore, that there are certain fatal faults attending upon
frankness, let us in the first place divest it of all self-regard by
exercising all vigilance lest we seem to have some private reason for our
reproaches, such as a personal wrong or grievance. For people are wont to
think that anger, not goodwill, is the motive of a man who
[p. 355]
speaks on his own behalf, and that this is not admonition but
fault-finding. For frankness is friendly and noble, but fault-finding is
selfish and mean. For this reason those who speak frankly are respected and
admired, while fault-finders meet with recrimination and contempt.
Agamemnon, for instance, has no patience with Achilles, who appears to have
spoken with moderate frankness only, but when Odysseus assails him bitterly
and says,
Hopeless and helpless ! Would you had to rule some other Paltry
band, not this,1
he yields and puts up with it, quieted by the friendly
concern and good sense of the other's words. For Odysseus, who had no ground
for anger personally, spoke boldly to him in behalf of Greece, while
Achilles seemed to be incensed chiefly on his own account. And it is true
that Achilles himself, although he was ‘not a man of sweet or gentle
temper,’
2 but a
Terrible man, who is given to blaming even the
blameless,3
submitted himself to Patroclus in silence, although Patroclus
often launched upon him strictures like this :
Ruthless man, your sire was
not the knightly Peleus, Nor was Thetis your mother ; no, the grey-gleaming
ocean Bore you, and high rugged rocks, you are so hard-hearted.4
The orator
Hypereides
5 used to tell the Athenians that it was only right that they
consider, not merely whether he was bitter, but whether he was so upon no
cause ; and in the same way, the admonition of
[p. 357]
a thing to be treated with respect and reverence, not to
be faced out. And if one also makes it clear that in speaking frankly he is
leaving out of all account or consideration his friend's lapses toward
himself, but taking him to task for certain other shortcomings, and that it
is in the interest of other persons that he visits him with stinging reproof
so unsparingly, the force of such frankness is irresistible, and the
generous attitude of the speaker serves only to intensify the bitterness and
severity of his admonition. Therefore, while it has been well said that when
we are angry or at variance with friends, we ought then most of all to be
doing or planning what will be for their advantage or interest, yet it is no
less material in friendship, when we feel that we ourselves are slighted and
neglected, to speak frankly in behalf of others who are likewise being
neglected, and to remind our friends of them. For example, Plato, in the
midst of suspicions and disagreements with Dionysius, asked him for an
appointment for an interview, and Dionysius granted it, supposing that Plato
had some long tale of fault-finding to rehearse on his own account. But
Plato talked with him somewhat after this fashion : ‘If you should
learn, Dionysius, that some ill-disposed man had made the voyage to
Sicily, cherishing the desire to do you harm, but unable to find an
opportunity, would you allow him to sail away, and should you let him
withdraw unscathed ?’
‘Far from it, Plato,’ said Dionysius, ‘for not only the
acts of enemies but their intentions as well must be detested and
punished.’
‘If now,’ said Plato, ‘somebody has come hither out of
goodwill to you, wishing to be the author of some good to you, but you
give him no
[p. 359]
opportunity, is it proper to let such a
man go without showing him any gratitude or attention ?’ When
Dionysius asked who the man was, ‘Aeschines,’ he said, ‘
in character as fair as any one of Socrates' companions, and potent in
speech to improve those with whom he may associate ; but after sailing
hither over a vast expanse of the sea in order to discuss philosophy
with you, he finds himself neglected.’ These words so moved
Dionysius, that he straightway embraced Plato affectionately, marvelling at
his kindliness and high-mindedness, and afterwards he paid to Aeschines
honourable and distinguished attentions.
